Brad Bollenbach (bbollenbach) wrote,
Brad Bollenbach

Toronto the Terrible

I came to Toronto a few days ago to check it out. This city sucks.

Toronto wants to be like New York or London, but somehow ends up having all the charm, charisma, and fashion sense of Winnipeg. Even several of the subway stations have the look and feel of London's Tube, only even more dreary. While the trains run remarkably often—every three to five minutes, even during off-peak hours—finding your way out of the stations is not always easy. And the recorded voice that announces each station is the voice of a woman who has just awoken from a coma in a Winnipeg hospital and been told that she's being moved out into the hallway tonight.

It's almost interesting that a city this large can be so introverted and insecure. I was watching some b-boys last night doing a street performance in Dundas Square, and it seemed like I was one of the only 10 spectators who was actually "daring" enough to applaud (?). The lead performer was virtually begging people to make some noise, almost to the point of being patronizing. And, of course, Dundas Square isn't really an expression of Canadian metropolitan personality so much as an attempt to emulate Times Square.

From what I've read, Torontonians are stereotyped as thinking the world revolves around them. If that were true, it would be funny in the same adorable way that an eight-year-old kid truly thinks he's Batman.
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